Why I Wrote A Poem When I Felt The Worst?
Waited until I felt better to post this.
I write this at my worst,
thoughts running in cycles
and no shut-eye.
Why would I write at my worst,
with a broken mirror,
a black cat crossing the road,
a glass of milk slipping out of my hands?
A moment.
I pray ten beads,
and nothing changes,
except that I know this suffering
is the start of something
I might not see the end of.
Why would I write about something,
someone,
and the infinite existence
when I see no answer?
They say it is when you have lost all hope
that you lose faith.
Why, then, should I hesitate
when I need You the most?
Some say it is when you have everything
that you lose faith.
Why should I not give thanks
for every gift and protection?
I have written my Thanksgiving.
It is a privilege to suffer,
and losing is just another way of growing.
2 responses to “From The Vault”
There is something beautiful about choosing to seek God when we don’t have answers, and choosing to thank Him when we have more than enough. Your words remind me of Daniel 3:17–18, when Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego knew God could deliver them, but declared that even if He didn’t, they would remain faithful.
I’ve come to believe that faith isn’t about knowing how every chapter will end. It’s about knowing who I’m trusting through it. Even if I don’t understand, even if the answer doesn’t come, still I will trust Him.
Thank you for sharing such an honest reflection.
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You’re Welcome 🤗
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