December reminds me
to pack all my memories
in the boxes I opened in January.
December reminds me
to check up on my soul,
my year-long battles,
and the love I shared.
Reminds me
to take a look at my cup—
and it was empty.
This time I gave everything.
This time I said what I hated.
Now sealed behind with duct tape.
Now sealed with wax,
it had me begging
for my respect. December has me wearing a scarf.
It is colder,
but with my warm smile
I am walking away.
December has me celebrating
my wins and my mistakes,
reminding me
every moment is a gift,
and life is better
when you enjoy the success
and the setbacks
the same way.
December has me overwhelmed
with tears of joy.
January will open new boxes for me,
and I can’t contain my joy.
-
December Reminder
-
Poem By Calosha Gomes
Poem by Calosha Gomes
This will see the light of the day
when this chapter is wrapped tighter than any knot.
This will see the light of the day
when this chapter is closed completely.
This will see the light of the day
when I have stepped on the next step.
My silence creatively was my biggest, “FU.”
My silence creatively was my biggest, “You hurt me.”
My silence creatively was my biggest, “I cared.”This will only see the light
if the door is shut
and the key is dropped
in the deepest side
of this blue ocean.
You will not see a tear,
you will not see me sad,
I’ll smile
and you will hear,
“Yes, I am okay.”
My tears are above the pay grade.
My sadness is above the pay grade,
and so is my sanity
and my empathy. -
This Writer
The writer of this story has left the call. Nothing compares to having to stick around when the betrayal hits like this. The writer of this story can barely hold on to what’s left, and that’s not much. Keep telling this writer: what you need is deeper than where the eyes meet.
The outer shell has me wanting to hug a drywall. The fireplace has not nearly warmed me up. I turn to an ounce of warmth still left within.
The writer of this story has abandoned the ending, choosing to stay stuck in the fairytale ending with a happily-ever-after built on a lie. The writer of this story is barely holding on to what is left, and that’s barely anything.This writer has lost everything over the emotion of grief, which is barely a cycle or even a step-by-step process—more like a rollercoaster on steroids.
This writer needs to step away with their sanity still intact. If only the destiny and her plans align, and it’s not another crash landing like in K-dramas. In the writer’s case, she would rather walk away.
Calosha Gomes 