Calosha Gomes

I might have gotten it all wrong — how giving is easier when you have enough to offer yourself.
Giving to prove something only has one outcome: the end of everything.

I walked with I have something to prove because I have traveled so much distance and crossed oceans,
and I am scared I might not be taken seriously.
So, I give my five hundred and end up on fumes.

And no one is okay on fumes — it’s only a few more steps until you crash into a wall of your own frustrations.
The question: Have I done enough?
Especially when you have a constant hunger for doing better?
I am running a marathon I should be walking.

I have gotten it all wrong.
I am to blame, but I am also to forgive myself
and understand how I am trying to prove to a different country that I belong to —
especially when I fear I might not be taken seriously.

I have drawn some lines with myself when it comes to everything.
I am trying to go above and beyond to prove my worth,
leading me into a complete unknown
and utter despair.